What have I been doing?

Little life update: Guys, I am so chronically online, and I saw this TikTok that was like, "I put on a playlist to feel like Peter Parker, and I was so locked in," blah blah blah. I thought, "Let me test this out", so I got a little coffee, went to Panera, opened my laptop, and put on the Spider-Man: Brand New Day soundtrack. I became an unstoppable force for like an hour. Whoops, guys, I don't have the actual stamina of Spider-Man...but an hour just working on my resume is a job well done. It's one step closer to moving up in life, fingers crossed. Then, after I finished fixing my resume, I, of course, had to treat myself, so I went to TJ Maxx and got this diva-licious cheetah print rug. Like, are you kidding me? It's perfect! 

Also, I have realized I just need to put my phone DOWN. Ages ago, I bought a bunch of old teen magazines from the 2000s and 2010s, and they're so fun to look through. I played some 2000s Disney-era songs and just had a blast flipping through those magazines, feeling like I was a kid again. Kinda unrelated, but I also want to get back into reading. I finished Powerless a couple of months ago, and I started Quicksilver, but I haven't really gotten into it. Hopefully, with the fall weather coming soon, I'll actually want to cozy up with a book, though! 

Trials and Tribulations

Hello, my divas! Can you believe that it's already September? Where did the year go? Gosh, time does fly when you're having fun... or working every day. But serious question: do you ever have so much to do that you just do nothing? That's how I've been feeling recently. I know I have so many important things to do, but I can't bring myself to do them. For example, I had two days off, and I wanted to really apply for a lot of new j*bs, but within the whole 48 hours I didn't open my laptop even once to even glance at new positions. The first day I was off, I literally just spent time on my phone and fixing my nails, and then I just ran a bunch of errands the following day. In that aspect, I suppose I was a little productive, and I cleaned my room, but in my professional life, I feel stagnant. Which, yes, I'm still kinda young, but I feel so behind.  

It is so hard not to compare myself to everyone around me. It seems everyone is getting married, or promoted, or getting a new degree, or moving to a fun new place. I'm still in my hometown, with no prospects and not that much money... 

I just have a giant fear of not being good enough. Again, for my big girl j*b that I'm still working on, it just feels like there are not many entry-level positions open for anything. Which brings up another issue... guys...I don't know what I want to do with my life. In high school, when I was a freshman, I thought Oh! Okay, I'll be a nurse practitioner. That will make money, and that's what matters. Then I joined TV & Broadcast and thought that was what I wanted to do- work at a News Station, but film school was so male-dominated and male-centric that I couldn't do it, so I finished with Media Arts & Science. But it's so hard to even explain to myself, let alone other people, what I studied and what I want to do. I just feel lost and still. Though I have to admit, when I was doomscrolling, I saw a post that said, "No change comes from being comfortable." I think that post-graduation, I have gotten too used to being comfortable, which is fine, but I think to see progress, I need to push myself and embrace being uncomfortable and to embrace being scared. 

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk <333

Moodboard: Gloria Delgado-Pritchett from Modern Family

Fall is coming up fast! (fingers crossed) And I need, need, need to emulate this diva this autumn. Her makeup is so warm-toned and beautiful, and her outfits are so gorge!     

     

Do you want the house tour?

Room update! I got a new duvet cover, yay! I was trying to give Bella Swan with the purple leaf/branch comforter she has in the movies, but it was $250 to get the screen-accurate version, so I gave up on that dream. But I still think the green and purple is really cute! Also, I got a new laptop because my old one was about five years old and really on its deathbed. So, you know I had to finance a new one aye aye aye... I didn't wanna shell out the money, but I thought if I could apply to new j*bs from the comfort of my bed, I would actually apply to more than just one j*b at a time. And now I can finally feel safe to go on 123movies on a laptop that's not gonna explode or accidentally give myself a virus trying to watch that on my phone. Now, I'm just excited that my room is a little more cohesive than it was. With the fall season approaching, I think I'm going to try to hit up some more thrift stores or try to DIY some cute witchy/whimsygoth decor! 

Being a Fangirl

After having an uber-stressful week, I watched Spider-Man: Brand New Day again. And, oh my gosh, it was even better the second time. The first time I saw it, I made sure to go to the Drive-In Theatre so I could scream in my car without bothering anyone, which was the right choice because I was going crazy LOL. The second time, my sister and I got barricade and were in the front row at the Dolby Cinema at AMC, which is as close as you can get to IMAX without it actually being IMAX. It was sooooo good in the Dolby Cinema. Going to the movies more this summer has just reiterated my love for the cinema, and with the new Spider-Man movie coming out and Doomsday coming out later this year, the fangirl in me is coming out of retirement.

I love being a fangirl, watching the movies, the interviews & funny moments, and reading one-shots & fanfiction. Being a fangirl is such a big part of me, and one time one of my oldest friends said, "When I think of a fangirl, I think of you." This kinda sounds silly, but I thought this was someone who really understands me. When I was 12 years old, my fangirl phase really started with One Direction, Magcon, Harry Potter, and, of course, Spider-Man. Now, being a little older, it feels like I'm losing my whimsy and my fun; being an adult is draining the fun out of me and leaving me with just chores and work? Since going to the movies a bunch this summer, I think a little piece of my heart has been restored. I just have to wait to find some good one-shots on Tumblr, and then I'll probably be back to normal. Anyway, I just wanted to harp on the idea that I LOVE being a girl. I love having strong feelings about the things that I like. I love that us girls can find a safe and supportive community, especially here with these blogs. I love going to concerts and events and talking to people who share the things I love. I just love girlhood! <3333